The Karaoke Conundrum

I have been cursed from a young age with some stage fright, and the ability to tell if somebody was singing in tune. Much later came the double edged sword of alcohol.
I have tried for years to explain the hypothesis I have behind my own urge to sing karaoke and the acceptability of a potential performance. I failed every time. This might be because my main mode of explanation was drawing imaginary lines in the air. Usually both whoever I was explaining it to and I were more or less intoxicated and nobody really likes algebra all that much anyways. I hope this explanation is clearer.

I feel these are the most important variables:
Positively correlated variables (Go up over time)

  1. The amount I have had to drink (inebriation or BAC)
  2. urge to sing

Negatively correlated variables (Go down over time)

  1. ability to sing
  2. ability to tell if someone sucks

There are three important thresholds:

  1. willing to sing karaoke (wts)
  2. The point where I know that I am singing completely out of tune (ok)
  3. The point where I can’t tell/don’t really care that I sing terribly (ct)

For me, I usually have the misfortune of singing my first song in the “shame band” this is the area where I cant sing and I know it. I’m not sure what the best way is to get around this problem:

  1. The most responsible would be to gain enough confidence to get up and sing before I reached the acceptability limit.
  2. Singing drunk may be a learnable skill and maybe all I have to do is practice singing drunk.
  3. Wait until the end of the night and only sing “brown eyed girl” or “sweet Caroline”. After all, nobody really likes good karaoke (or algebra) anyways.
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